Moving, and Other Calamities

Ok, so almost all moved in to the Lil House O’Horrors. Yay.

Today was a complete gong show. Took kids to the grocery store. Upon attempting to check out, discovered my wallet was safe…on my desk. At home.

Teen daughter, who has been 16 different kinds of awesome today, ran home (6 or so blocks) to get it, while I waited w/the 4 other kids. Tazzie acts like a turkey the entire time, completely not listening, and just generally acting like he’d never experienced being in public.

As we’re loading the basket under the stroller, Terror Toddler decides it’s the perfect time to have a meltdown, and throws himself to the floor. Not to be out done, baby starts wailing. Princess, either in a fit of joining in the chaos, or an attempt to get away from it, literally wanders off. 

Pretty sure we’re now THAT family.

Then, once at home, the ‘washable’ playpen? Sure, you can take it apart to wash, including the boards that go into the mat. But, it’ll take you over an hr, many curse words, threats, and being ready to chuck it out in the yard for those stupid boards to get back in. And I wasn’t even the one doing the work.

I’m completely exhausted, and ready for bed.

And it’s not even supper time yet.


The Creeping Crud, and Unhelpful Help

God love ’em, but sometimes helping just isn’t the right thing to do.

Boo has double ear infections, diagnosed yesterday. He’s been up the past two nights.

Boo was up again last night. Abx haven’t kicked in yet, to no surprise.

So, 430 am, I’m settling down w/him on the couch. This is the routine I’ve worked out. He wakes in his crib, I bring him to the couch, he uses me as a human mattress, since I keep his head/shoulders elevated, takes pressure off his ears. Of course, it also means I get head butted, smacked, kicked, and generally thrashed at, but hey, I’m the Mom. If a toddler needs to sleep on someone and beat them up while they sleep, I’m your girl.


Wolf gets up, mins after we hit the couch. Boo pops up like a Boo in the box. DADDY’S HERE!!! PARTY!! Wolf, trying to be helpful, FLIPS ON THE TV.

At which point, I flip, period.

Cause now, Boo aint going to sleep. Daddy is here AND tv is on.

And then Cubby wakes, due to the voices at not even 5 am.

Yay me.

Wolf hustles Boo off downstairs, I feed Cubby and crash w/HIM on the couch, b/c, joy of joys, *he’s* now got the cold and stuffed all the heck up.

I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep the last few nights, or if I’m getting what they’ve got, but I feel like death. And praying Cubby’s cold doesn’t go to his ears.

Unsocialized Homeschoolers

We’re unsocialized homeschoolers! YAY US!

There’s a new park opening just down the block. Flyer said from 12-3 pm. Well, turns out the 1st hr kids aren’t allowed on the structure, everyones supposed to stand around and listen to politicians pat themselves on the back, remind everyone (repeatedly!) that there’s an election coming up, and tell ppl they HAVE to spend their $ supporting the business that contributed to the park. I’m honestly not sure if these folks have no concept of subtlety or what, but eeesh, what nimrods.

The one politician complained that a pic was taken of him digging a hole and his face wasn’t visible.

Another announced that he was so sick, he could barely stand…which, instead of impressing me w/his noble dedication made me think, “Great. So you come here, w/loads of ppl and kids, to spread your germies. Lovely.”

So, like the unsocialized hs’ers we are…we left. Buh bye. Since kids are being chased off the play structure until the politicians get their photo op, we’ll go back when all that beating of chests and patting of backs is done.

And, as I pointed out to Princess and Tazzie…they can go tomorrow while everyone else is stuck in a classroom, and have the whole park to themselves.

(And there’s the other thing…who the HECK opens a playground Labour Day?! Wouldn’t it have made far more sense to have this done BEFORE school let out, so kids could play on it all summer? Ah, politicians.)

Nocturnal Aminals


For the third night in a row, Boo has been up. I’ve no idea what is going through his toddler brain, other than bright lights and a loud voice demanding, “TIME TO GET UP NOW!” Of course, that’s just speculation on my part, but judging by the results, probably pretty accurate.

This kiddo has slept through the night since he was about three months old. Yes, I know how lucky I was. Now, however, it seems I’m paying the price. Nobody ever told me that if they don’t have you up at night for the first six months, they would later on. Some weird sort of ‘buy now, pay later’ sleep thing. And the accrued interest may kill me yet.

The added fun, of course, is that Cubby, our newest clan member, hasn’t mastered sleeping through the night yet. At 2.5 months old, nobody expects him to. It does, however, make things quite interesting when Boo has decided to be up as well.

Honestly, I feel like a nocturnal pinball, whizzing and bouncing madly from one baby to the other. Let me describe the night time events.

It’s about 2am. Boo starts wailing. I stumble into the room, hoping that I can just lay him down, rub his back, and have him drift off. Yeah, no. The boy is UP. So, in the interest of not waking the rest of the clan, I bring him into the living room. He promptly grabs the remote and attempts to stuff it up my nose in an effort to get the preschool channel turned on. In sheer self defence, I comply, and he cooperates w/a diaper change.

Oh. Dear. Heavens. It’s a children’s show that is a nightmare invention from a bad LSD trip. I swear that’s the only possible explanation. The colours, the monsters, the music. And of course, Boo’s immediately enthralled and addicted. I can hear my adult brain screaming in pain, and starting to self destruct and melt, as there’s no other escape.

As I’ve resigned myself to gray matter oozing out my ears, Cubby begins to wake up. But of course! No way could only one baby be up at a time, silly Mommy!

No sooner am I settled w/Cubby, feeding him a bottle, than Boo strips off his fresh diaper…and proceeds to pee on the living room rug.  Perfect. No wrangling of nocturnal aminals could be complete w/out some body fluids being splashed about.

Bottle finished, burping completed, Boo re diapered (backwards this time…I can never find the duct tape) and Cubby is snoozing. Boo finally goes back into his crib and settles down around 4am.

And a few short hours later, everyone is up, and Wolf asks how my night was. 

Uh huh.

And, here’s the real insult to injury…the last two nights that Boo’s been up, Cubby has been sleeping longer than he ever has. Last night, for the first time ever, he slept for five hours. His brother, however, ensured that I kept my sleep-no-more-than-3 hrs-at-a-time schedule.

One day, I’ll sleep through the night again…surely by the time they move out. Right? Right?!

Mind. Blown.

Went clothes shopping w/Diva today.

Now, you must understand that clothes shopping, for me, is a circle of Hell. I’m not exactly sure which circle Dante stuck it in, but I’m certain that ‘plus size clothes shopping on a budget’ is in there somewhere. And if it’s not, it darn well should be.

So, off we trudge, the entire WolfImp Clan. B/c the plus size store I like is only available in a cpl of places in our city, and none of them nearby, it means we have to all pack up and go. We split into 2 groups…Wolf, Princess, Tazzie and Boo in one, Diva, Cubby and I in the other.  Thankfully, we also had two strollers as well.

First thing, upon entering the store, is Diva gets asked how old HER baby is. And if it’s her first. Woman was stunned when informed that not only am *I* baby’s mom, but Diva’s as well. She assumed Diva was over 18, and that we were sisters. Poor Diva. I’m going to make her a shirt that says, “NOT the Mama” and have her wear that when we go out w/either of the babies.

Get Diva some jeans, and fight my way through the lightheadedness and nausea that accompanies the price tags.

Then it’s my turn. I need new bras, always a miserable experience. Ye Olde Mountain Range is never a fun thing to try and find support for. I had the manager working w/me, and at one point she dropped the F bomb in frustration, apologizing profusely. I told her it was an accomplishment, b/c normally the only person I frustrate to that point is my husband!

As it turns out, it wasn’t a problem w/big…it was a problem w/small.

I’ve dropped bra sizes (pardon the pun) hugely. As in, I can walk into ANY store and find a bra in my current size. And…I’m no longer plus sized on top.

Did you hear that? I’M NO LONGER PLUS SIZED ON TOP.

I can wear NORMAL sized clothes. Granted, the upper range of normal, but still…NOT plus sized!

Seriously, this is the first time since I was about 16 that I’ve not had to be in plus sizes for my top. My bottom has pretty much always been ok, size wise, but the top? Uh, no.

And, *ahem* did I mention that I’m only 6 wks post partum?

This means I can find a DRESS. Like, a one piece dress, instead of only being able to wear separates! And I can find strapless bras w/out having to mortgage one of the children! Oh! For the first time EVER, I can actually consider getting MATCHING lingerie!

I’m dizzy w/all the options that I’ve never had before. For the first time in forever, clothes shopping wasn’t miserable!

I bought myself 4 new tops so far, and have more shopping to do. I have a milestone birthday next Friday, and want something pretty to wear to go out for dinner w/Wolf.

I am so stinkin happy, happy, happy!!