Welcome, folks, to another edition of, “Only In Our House” where I recount an event that happened at the Non Stepford House for your entertainment…and to make you feel better about your own family, children, and parenting skills.
Boo was putting his head into one of Wolf’s boots. Tazzie ran over and gave him a few ‘helpful’ pushes.
Diva: Don’t push your brother’s head in a boot!
Imp: Who has to say these things?!
Diva: “There’s a Baby in my boot!”
Imp: *stares at Diva*
Imp: Really?! That’s what you come out with?!
Imp: *wanders away*
Tazzie: MOM! MOM! *wearing a boot on his head*
Imp: *turns around* WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BOOT ON YOUR HEAD?
Tazzie: LOOK! NOW DAD CAN STAND ON MY HEAD!
Imp: You’re going to get athlete’s foot on your head.
Imp: It’s a fungus that grows between your toes. And you’re going to have it on your HEAD. Then you won’t be able to go out and play, ’cause your hair will be falling out in patches and clumps.
Diva: *watches Cubby put his head in a boot, then stumble into the living room* Have you noticed that they look kinda drunk when they get into Dad’s boots? Maybe the fumes are affecting their brains.
Imp: Well, that would explain a lot. Proof that all the weirdness around here is Dad’s fault!