CoSleeping Conversation


I’ve mentioned before, I don’t cosleep well. I don’t know if other moms have more cooperative kids, or what the gig is, but sleeping with my kids…well, there’s not a lot of *sleeping* going on.


So, for your amusement, I thought I’d write the scene from his point of view.

“Hmm. Momma’s asleep. That’s not right. I’m bored. I know! I’ll kick her in the face! That’ll be fun! She’ll like that!”




“Hey! Momma didn’t seem to like that. She obviously doesn’t understand the entertainment value here. Let’s try that again.”




“Boy, is she slooooooow. Still not getting the fun. One more time.”




“Alright, alright, she’s obviously just not getting into it. Maybe if I just put my toes up her nose. I know I can get my fingers up my nose, and her nose is bigger, so I’m sure my toes will fit…”




“Geez, is she ever cranky. No kicking in the face, no toes in her nose. Huh. Oh! I know! I’ll get up on my knees and launch myself at her! Face plant! I’ll be AWESOME!”




“Well, she’s got a soft belly. That’s kinda neat. I wonder if her chest is that soft?”




“Not bad. I think the belly is softer. Hmmm. How about that face?”




“Ouch. OK, that wasn’t fun. Let’s just headslam her belly. It’ll make a good pillow.”


*SLAM* *Headbutt*


“I just can’t get comfortable here. Let’s try flip flopping all over, up, down, sideways, throwing Momma a kick, elbow and head butt with each move! She won’t want to miss any of these awesome acrobatics!”




“Ooooh, I know the problem now! I don’t have enough space! Momma thinks SHE should get some sleeping surface here. Geez, isn’t she a little old to believe in fantasies? I’ll just star fish out on my belly, spreading my arms and legs as far as I can.  Oh, that’s right…ZZZZZzzzzzzzz”


And *that* is how I ended up barely clinging to the edge, afraid to fall asleep, in case I fell right off and onto the floor.



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CoSleeping Conversation — 1 Comment

  1. Pingback: Terror Toddler Too - Not A Stepford Life

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