Chaos And Insanity

chaos and insanity

Last week, Wolf flew across country (and Canada’s a big damn country, folks) to look for a rental house for us.

As he drove off the children and I eyed each other, uneasily.

They are all Daddy Addicts. Nothing in their world is quite right when Daddy’s not home. They tolerate (barely) him going to work, merely because the older ones understand the math of “Dad doesn’t work, you don’t eat/get toys/anything good” and the younger ones simply do the Dance O’Joy when he walks through the door.

Anyone remember The Flintstones? When Fred comes home, and Dino knocks him on his back? That’s pretty much the routine, every day, when Wolf gets home, but with kids, not a Dino.

I have a saying, “Mommy for maintenance, Daddy for fun.” because that seems to be the way it shakes out. Mom does the stuff that keeps everyone alive, Dad’s the one that is the amusement park on two feet.

As the lone parental unit on duty, they were going to make me pay for the disruption in their world.

“MOOOOOOOM! Cubby’s got his diaper off and is peeing on the floooooor!”

Let the games begin.

To the tune of, ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’

On the first day that Wolf was gone, the children gave to me,

Chaos and insanity.

On the second day that Wolf was gone, the children gave to me,

“My head is itchy!”

Four heads with lice,

Three hundred dollars for lice killing stuff,

Neighbours to warn,

Laundry out the wazoo,

And chaos and insanity.

On the third day that Wolf was gone, the children gave to me,

More nit picking,

“When’s Daddy home?”

Still more laundry,

Children whining.

Toddlers biting,

And chaos and insanity.

On the fourth day that Wolf was gone,

The children gave to me,

“Daddy’s home tomorrow!”


Lice freeeeeee heaaaaadddds!

Boo with scissors,

Gives Cubby’s first haircut,

And chaos and insanity.

On the day of Wolf’s return,

The children gave to me,

“When’s Daddy home?” every ten minutes,

Noses against windows,

Shrieking of joy,

Shoving and pushing,

Yay Daddy’s home!

And I need a big cup of whiskey…

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Chaos And Insanity — 2 Comments

  1. I hope Wolf brought home a big bottle of whiskey and took you out to dinner, or at least found some way to make up for his absence.

    Maybe next time you should take the trip and leave him at home. You might be a bit more appreciated on your return.

    • I don’t drive, so he’s the point man on everything. I consider it a throw back to the ‘hunter/gatherer’ thing. Or something like that.

      He brought home a signed lease, for us to move across country to, so that’s probably better than a bottle of whiskey.

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