Uterus Of Mass Destruction

Power...the POWER!

Power…the POWER!

This has been one heck of a week for me. My first ever post as a Huffington Post blogger went up on Tuesday, in the parenting blog section, and then today, another post was featured on Huffington Post Women. Busy, busy week!

I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting what happened.

Now, granted, I know not everyone is ‘into’ large families. But the comments? Hoooo boy.

Basically, they were divided up into three categories: those who have large families, those who don’t, but are of a ‘live and let live’ mindset, and those that are vehemently, even angrily against large families.

The last group threw me for a loop.

I never knew that folks could be so angry over someone else’s reproductive choices. I always considered family size a personal thing, but, I was firmly told, it’s not.

Silly me. I thought it was something that was between Wolf and I.


Apparently, having a large family makes me responsible for the destruction of the planet. I’m leaving (carbon) footprints that Paul Bunyan couldn’t match. Forget Chernobyl, nuclear warfare, global pandemics, germ warfare, tsunamis, earth quakes and hurricanes, large families are going to kill the Earth!

Holy crap.

I always said I wanted to take over the world, Pinky…but destroy it? Eh, toh-may-to, toh-mah-to I guess.

“Honey, ” I yelled to Wolf excitedly, “Our crotch fruit are going to destroy the world!”

Frankly, you’d thought he’d be a little more excited. Or at least surprised.

At least large families can’t be blamed for the extinction of the dinosaurs, right? RIGHT?!

I mean, I’ve heard, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” but my UTERUS?!

But, in talking with Wolf, I realized…the power.



So, I did what any sarcastic, snarky person would do.

I made a t-shirt. For any woman who has, or may plan to have, more than the ‘approved’ number of children. (That’s two, by the way, according to the commenters)


And mugs, and other stuff.


I have to admit, one of my favourite comments was someone demanding to know why my DNA is so special that I had to reproduce so much.

And, well, I’ll be honest here:

My DNA isn’t special at all. Wolf, however, was sent here from a dying planet. When he was an infant, his parents stuffed him in a crystal spaceship, and sent him to Earth.

But we’re not suppose to talk about that. Shhhh!!


Sidenote: I do find it interesting that, my post, Ten Things Not To Say About A Large Family has 10x more comments than my post on domestic violence, To The Woman With The Bruises.

What’s it say when folks are more interested in my uterine productions than in a woman being abused?

Nothing good, I suspect.


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Uterus Of Mass Destruction — 39 Comments

  1. I’ll admit to doing the “Holy crap!” arched eyebrow when it comes to large families, but it’s never meant to be judgmental. Why? Because I’m in the “live and let live” camp. If a large family suits you, who the hell am I to judge? I say more power to you and your awesome family!

    • Thanks, Kim!

      I’ve never, EVER been someone that thinks I know what’s right for everyone. I also don’t believe for one red hot second that someone’s decisions when it comes to their family is any more or less valid than anyone else’s. No child, only child, two, a dozen…what’s right for them is right for them. I’ve verbally shredded ppl for criticizing only children families.

    • What baffles me is that, I thought ‘To The Woman With The Bruises’ would be exempt from negative commentary. Not so much on the Huff Po Women FB page. *sigh*

  2. Like others “crotch fruit” had me choking on my coffee. I almost wish I had a uterus. On a side note I think some of the lack of response to “To The Woman With The Bruises” may be because some of us read or hear stories like that and are shocked into silence. We need to be aware, and we need to be reminded, but it’s hard to find the right words. Also some people are just jerks who live by the philosophy of “If I can’t say something negative I won’t say anything”.

    Congratulations on your first HuffPo piece. And remember: Non carborundum illegitimi.

    And tell Wolf I said “Narf!”

    • Funny thing, since I wrote this, ‘Woman’ has surpassed the other, at least in ‘likes’. I was shocked, however, that someone had to be a jerk in comments. Nothing is safe from trolls, I guess.

      Ha! That would imply he’s Brain to your Pinky. I’m trying to convince him I’m The Brain…

      And no, I won’t let the bastards grind me down 😉

      Having a uterus isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Except for the whole U.M.D. thing. That’s kinda cool. The power…THE POOOWWWEEERRRR….

  3. I saw that! What is wrong with people that they should care so much what others do. Anyway, you clearly had two options: ignore and/or make a T-shirt. Nicely done!

  4. I have the approved number of children (thank gawd!) but yeah, the HuffPo trolls are brutal. I am firmly in the “live and let live” camp. Well, it’s more of a “not my circus, not my monkeys” camp. Unless you’re a Duggar.. because seriously, lady- it’s a vagina, not a clown car.

  5. I’ll never understand why people feel the need to cast judgement on the choices of others either. Best to ignore the haters and carry on!

    Thanks for sharing with us at #MommyMeetupMondays

  6. Congratulations for getting in HuffPost. Yes, that’s a tough crowd over there. I had a friend who had an essay published which I thought was lovely and it was like throwing fresh meat to hungry lions. Some people were nice, but others seemed like they were having a bad day and needed to hurt someone’s feelings. Still, don’t take it personally. The editors like what you did and that’s what counts.

  7. First off congrats on your piece!!! I never really understood why it was someone else’s business how many kids somebody had as long as they were properly taken care and other things. I feel like has it come to point that there has to be such negativity is almost a given… hey rock on to loving wanting a large family. My husband and I thought and wanted a huge family but through complications and time trying we were so blessed with two great miracles. If a child is in loving home that all should matter 🙂

  8. “Our crotch fruit are going to destroy the world” is the best thing I have ever read. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for that laugh. I only have three fruits (who are very conveniently spaced), and I envy you amazing moms who brave the chaos (and reap the rewards) of a bountiful harvest. God bless you all.

  9. Great article! I’m the oldest of 6 kids and I think my parents got a few “raised eyebrows” too. I think what people don’t necessarily understand is that you can’t automatically take the carbon footprint of one child and then multiply it by x. Clothes and toys can be passed down. Food can be raised or grown.

    I’ve been very fortunate in that I’ve rarely been asked “When are you guys going to have kids?” or “Why don’t you and DH have kids?” I have hypothyroidism and PCOS and we’re not sure I will EVER be able to have kids, thank you very much. We are considering adoption in a couple of years.

  10. Haters gon’ hate! It sucks though, it really bugs me when people get all up in a stink about big families. And those same people would vehemently fight for a women’s right to other reproductive choices… I can’t even talk about this without getting upset so I’m not going to.

  11. Pingback: Don't Be A Jerk Commenter - Not A Stepford Life

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