Sleeping On The Couch

Not my couch, but close enough.

Not my couch, but close enough.


I woke up this morning, on the couch, with Cubby pulling my hair. With his toes.

Yes, he was standing over me, and using his toes to grasp and pull my hair.

I’m not sure if I should be impressed with his toe using dexterity, or insulted that I wasn’t worth using his hands for.

Either way, it’s a heck of a way to wake up.

Frankly, sleeping on the couch sucks to start with.

Oh, Wolf and I didn’t have a fight, resulting in a teary, dramatic announcement of, “I can’t even sleep with you tonight! I’m off to the couch!”

First of all, I don’t give up my bed that easy. Second, neither of us is dumb enough to fight close to bedtime. Third, in a dozen years of marriage, I can’t remember a night when either of us has been ‘couched’.

No, the reason I end up on the couch? The younger two Minions.

I don’t know why, but recently both of them have decided that sleeping with Mommy is the best way to sleep.

“Well, you’re warm, soft and snuggly,” Wolf commented. “Can’t really blame them.”

I’d have glared at him if I wasn’t too tired.

Both boys seem to think our bed is a playground. Ok, maybe it is, but it’s anΒ adult playground, not meant for rampaging, jumping around, and attempting to reenact an MMA fight. Trying to bring them into our bed results in kicks to the head, head butting, and other insanity.

Bringing them out to the couch, however, they pass out.I don’t know why, but it works. And at 3am, that’s all I care about. Sleep.

Unfortunately for us, allowing them to carry on in their beds doesn’t help, because this house sucks, and you can hear EVERYTHING. Through the whole house. And if you don’t grab on quick enough, both will wake up. And possibly the older Minions to boot.

So, being the noble mother I am, I grab the offender, and bunk on the couch.

Noble my butt, I just don’t want more kids up and wandering around. 3am is no time for nobility, it’s all about survival.

One day, we will move into a house that doesn’t have seeming tissue paper for walls, and we can let them self soothe, and put themselves back to sleep, without running the risk of the entire house being woken.

Until then, I guess I’ll be spending frequent nights on the couch.

And in that head space, I started hearing Nights In White Satin, by the Moody Blues play in my head. But the words were different.

Nights on the couch,

Never seeming to end

Sleep unbroken,

I can never depend,

Toddlers are always waking,

Never sleeping through,

But I want it,

Oh, how I want it,

To sleep through the niggggggggght…

(Hey, I never claimed to be a poet!)

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Sleeping On The Couch — 14 Comments

    • None of the other kids were like this. They were all sleeping through by 6 mths. These two boys, however, have their nocturnal tag team down to an art.

    • I deal w/insomnia, part and parcel of the RSD gig. Too much pain to sleep, then pain goes up b/c I don’t sleep, then I don’t sleep b/c of the pain…round and round and round it goes.

      It sucketh.

      I’m grateful it’s not an every night thing.

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