Princess came to me, holding her chin and sobbing. I was expecting to see blood seeping through her fingers, and that a rabid ninja had seeped from under the table, slashed her chin, and disappeared back into the shadows from whence he came.

Or, at least, that Terror Toddler hucked a toy.

Nope.

She poked herself. W/a pencil.

My life is way more interesting in my head.