I swear, normal families don’t have these discussions.
There I was, innocently wasting time on a Facebook game, when my hearing suddenly kicked in. See, I have Mom hearing. I can tune things out, unless they’re something my brain deems important, and suddenly I hear what’s going on.
Wolf and Diva are in the kitchen, behind me. Suddenly, I hear Wolf say, “Some heads, you can use a pot. But depending on size and shape, some heads you need a casserole dish.”
Folks, I froze. I was *afraid* to turn around. I suddenly wondered what the heck Wolf had done in his bachelor days, and what he was teaching Diva. I was also suddenly grateful he doesn’t cook.
Turns out, he was talking about hair cuts. And ‘bowl’ hair cuts.
I’m still grateful he doesn’t cook. And is no longer allowed to take the children for haircuts.
Then, later that evening, Diva comes marching into the livingroom announcing, “Well, I have the vampire problem taken care of. If we had a vampire problem. I have *potential* vampire problems taken care of.”
That chunk of wood is the result of Princess’ bed breaking during story time with Wolf. Murphy is laughing his butt off, stomping to death my ‘No Buy August’ intentions. I ever find Murphy, and I have a nice spot in the woods picked out for him.
And, in other news, Diva was listening to a techy, discoish version of a song I like. I said to her, “Imma gonna set myself on fire now.” My daughter, the child I birthed, loved, have raised with loves and snuggles, replied, without a nanosecond of hesitation, “Witch burning. Cool.”
Where’s my cheesecake?!