Diva Speaks 2

Hey, Folks, Imp here. I’m letting Diva take over for today’s post. Granted, I’ll have some comments here and there, though…Bwah hahahahaha! Enjoy the new installment of, Diva Speaks. She’ll be reading along, so feel free to leave her a comment!

She's baaaaack!

She’s baaaaack!

DO NOT REJECT MY LOVE

Hi folks, ‘Diva’ here again. Because we all know you’ve just been watching my mom’s blog to see me again, right?

I digress.

If you follow my mother’s FaceBook page, you’ve seen that I have a habit of chasing the Younger Minions, i.e Boo and Cubby, around the house yelling “DO NOT REJECT MY LOVE!” And now, Cubby has resigned himself to his fate, and does the Death Row Shuffle to me when I ask for a hug. (Imp here: It’s true, and it’s so freaking funny!)

I have become the baby version of an electric chair. Greeeeeeeeeeeat. I can go cross that off my bucket list…

And this turned into a prediction of my future, because, you know, Not a Stepford Life Household. We like to tease the heck out of everyone. My family has decided that I’m going to end up dating some scrawny little thing, stick him in a baby carriage and run around telling people “This is my boyfriend.” Read that in a Neanderthal voice, and you’ve got it down pat. (Actually, what I said was, “You’re going to strap some poor guy on your back, and drag him around with you, like a demented version of baby wearing.”)

On the topic of my future, has my mom ever mentioned the Mommy Curse? No? Well, she informed me years ago that I was going to have twins or triplets that were going to be just. Like. Me. (The Mom Curse is a true thing. As far as I know, anyone I’ve ever talked to that’s been told, “I hope you have a child JUST LIKE YOU!” has had it come true. Granted, not twins or triplets, but I aim high.)

I like to think that I’m the result of a Mommy Curse on my mother, as she tells me constantly that I look and act exactly like her. So on one hand, I like the Mommy Curse. And I make sure that Imp feels the wrath of whoever put this curse on her. I feel it is my solemn duty, as the product of such a curse. See? I’m nowhere near as evil as she makes me out to be. I have a sense of honour and duty.

*evil snigger*

(And she wonders why I put the Mom Curse on her!

But on the other hand, if I have multiples that are just like me, that means that I’ll have 2-3 little Imps. That I have to raise. And can’t run away from. And have to raise.

But that’s okay. I’m totally okay with that.

Grandma and Grandpa will have so much fun when I drop my kids off at their house, giant bags of candy squirreled away in their overnight bags for snacking on, while I drive away as fast as the driving limit will allow, cackling like a witch on too much caffeine.

*******

So, that’s Diva’s post of the day. I now know that I need to frisk any grandchildren for candy. And that’s fine…because we’ll hand it out just in time for their Mommy to pick them up.

Diva’s got a ways to go before she beats me at plotting abilities. *evil grin*

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Comments

Diva Speaks 2 — 6 Comments

  1. I can tell the Diva has a bright future ahead of her. Also in Appalachian folklore there’s the “Granny curse”. It has nothing to do with children but causes uncontrollable flatulence. Not to be crude but imagine returning multiple little Imps to their mother with candy AND that little problem.

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