Diva Is Evil

My Diva is evil. It’s time I faced facts.

There I was, innocently sitting outside, enjoying the summer evening, when she appeared.

“Hey, Mom! Do you know what this is?”

And then she shoved THIS under my nose. Seriously, if my mouth had been open, I could have LICKED it.

SHRIEK! SHRIEK! SHRIEK!

SHRIEK! SHRIEK! SHRIEK!

See? EVIL. And, she giggled maniacally as I about lost my mind.

Yes, I’m a WEE bit afraid of spiders. In the way that Chernobyl was a WEE bit of an issue.

She took it back in the house, with my directions to, “Take a pic. THEN KILL IT WITH FIRE!”

I turned to Wolf and said, “You say I’m evil. But she’s evil 2.0.”

Wolf: “So, you’re the margerine of evil? You’re quasi evil?”

Perfect. A spider under my nose, about ready to launch out of the baby bottle and eat my face, and my husband quotes Austin Powers movies at me.

They ever team up against me, and I’m screwed.

 

****

UPDATE:

A ‘friend’ (I put this in quotes because I’m pretty sure a TRUE friend would have just joined me in shrieking with horror, and kept this info to themselves) has informed me that the spider is a female Wolf spider.

Which brings to mind two questions:

1) DOES THIS MEAN THERE ARE BABIES IN MY HOUSE?!

2) Does anyone have a flame thrower?!

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Comments

Diva Is Evil — 4 Comments

  1. I’ve got one! Lighter and a can of hair-spray! But I wanna choose one to be my pet first! I miss my Freddy!! 🙁 Why’d you make me squish my Freddy Kroegar??

    BWAHAHAHA!

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