Actual conversation that happened between Wolf and I:
Me: “So, I think I’m going to talk to the Dr about how to kill someone. What meds you could give them to cause a heart attack that wouldn’t be evident.”
Wolf: “You’re going to kill me now? Do you think you should be announcing this? Cause if I suddenly croak while taking the kids sledding, he’s going to wonder.”
Me: “Not you. Geez. Talking about the novel I’m working on.”
Wolf: “Yeah, ok…but do you think the Dr won’t be just a little concerned that you’re asking for untraceable ways to kill someone?”
Me : “Well, I’d tell him it was research for a book!”
Wolf: “Yeah, like he hasn’t heard THAT one before.”
Me: “Well, I thought about googling it, but I didn’t want to set off any weird internet flags, and have the police show up at the door. Plus, I figured you might be a bit freaked out if you found out I was googling how to kill someone.”
Wolf: “Just a bit.”
Me: “Besides, I’ve already told you, you’re not allowed to die until after the kids are all out of the house. Now, after THAT, you might want to be worried.”
Wolf: “Good to know.”
Yes, this is considered a normal conversation around here.
What do normal people talk about? I’m pretty sure that discussing ways to get away with killing people is one of the dangers of being married to a writer, that other couples just don’t have on their radar.
And of course, now that I’m writing about it, Wolf better not ever die of a heart attack, or I’m screwed.